Of Journals and Psychology Classes
by sakimidare
Summary: When a nation tries to lead a normal life, doubtless he would face problems. But when that problem turns into a full-blown crisis, there is just one thing he can do - regret. And maybe, repair? RoChu, 'cos I'm a sucker for cute.
1. First Sight

Ivan stared at the rectangular notebook on his table.

"I shall be away for a while, Ivan~aru. I have left you something." Ivan's eyes had lit up. And then China had spoilt it for him by declaring "Do not forget to write in it every night before you go to sleep."

Apparently Ivan had made a HUGE mistake when he had insisted Yao sign up for Psychology in College. He had thought it would be good for the man to have his focus as something other than work.

He was wrong.

And this was his punishment.

He took a deep breath before clutching the pencil and starting to write.

What was he going to write?

Well, Yao _had_ said anything he wanted to..his feelings...

_I wanted to stop and think this over. I really did. But I've never been much good at thinking, have I? Yao says that is because I think with Circular Logic. I do not know what that is. But if Yao says it then it must be true. Because he knows me better than anyone else..he knows me better than I know myself._

_Yao says its necessary not to get caught in the stream that is hatred and revenge. He says it muddles everything up – he says it makes one's objective clouded and rationality influenced. But how can I not want revenge? All that was done to me..._

_Alfre-America. He used to be my best friend. But that all started to change when we started to compete for the top position. He wanted to be the Hero. I didn't even care. But my Boss hit me and pushed me on. I was scared so I went to America. But I saw him deploying the atomic bombs on Japan. His Boss had wanted to give them some more time. I saw him pressure his Boss to do it. I heard it when he said "Now then. Lets hope that taught the Sushi Bastard who the Hero is." I was there when he dropped the second one – despite my pleas not to. He had changed. I never trusted him again. He lied._

_Toris – Liet. I gave him a home when he was lost. What did I miss? Where did I go wrong? I loved him – I loved them all. Was I too harsh? But I punished even myself after those... "episodes". And he had them coming! It was because he defied me that I punished him. Defiance is not a good thing, da?_

_Latvia. He was so happy here he shook all the time with anticipation and delight at being allowed to live here. I played with him, too, so he was really happy. Very very happy. Then why did he run away like that? Why?_

_Estonia..ah!Estonia was happy as far as he could be. I tried to make him go out with Big Sis cos they look so cute- ahem! You did not hear that! Anyway, he was quiet, but..well._

_I suppose they wanted to be free? But that would be so pintless and doesn't make any sense...they were all happy here! They were all happy with the USSR. Why did they go away? I took all the Boss's beatings so everyone could stay happy. I worked myself to death on their accounts. I only ever punished them when they got too defiant. I even overlooked several minor faults. I gave them everything they could want. I never wanted a thing back..I just...didn't want to be lonely._

_Ukraine...my Big Sis. That is a different story. She dodn't want to leave. That is true. Her Boss made her. And I don't blame them. You see, my Boss made me do something very bad, so her Boss made her leave me. It was my fault...if I had resisted more...but he beat me half to death. I had to be admitted to the hospital thrice cos I protested so much against these issues. _

_Belatrus..still hangs around. But she is scary. I want Big Sis, but that's right. She avoids me like death whenever I am near her._

_England, France...they all sided with America as I was "killing" democracy. Whats the difference between Democracy and Communism? Someone once said that in Democracy Man exploited man and Vice Versa. They are the same, really. Its the same with all forms of Government. You may take it from me. I have had a few. _

_And now, I think I shall go to bed. I have written for long and my hand aches from the cold. _

_Do svidanya_

_Author's Nonsense: Hello! I just wanted to say all the usual blah blah and if you liked this, then I have a little Code Geass plot bunny which is sorta intense and lengthy and metaphysical stuff which I can't find the time to write(I already did 2 chap and have 5 planned) so if you're interested in a very time- and effort-consuming collaboration, drop a line. And yes, if someone actually knows the phonetic of "good night" in Russian could you get back to me? All I see there is this Cyrillic fonts and though I know some drifting phrases and words, I don't have a clue how the fonts are pronounced and all. And its annoying to see other fonts pop in when you're reading a story. At least, it annoys me as I have no idea how they're pronounced. That's all. Hoping against hope you enjoyed it(not much chance of that, eh? And that it made more sense to you than it to me. This was kinda random – like all my stories.)_


	2. Beginning of the End

**A/N: I honestly have no idea why I'm continuing this...but anyway, I was bored so...**

**I completely disown this story. I have no idea what its become and I do not know where to go from now on...and was this chapter too boring? I dunno...**

**WARNINGS: Themes of Homosexuality, Dark Themes, Random and nonsensical**

The first thing that Yao's mind registered was that Ivan was not there beside him. The second thing he noticed was that he wasn't in either Ivan's or his own place. The third thing was the clock.

"Shit." he said, before laying back. He was on a vacation, which meant paperwork was at a minimum. However, this was not a vacation in the proper sense of the word...just a break from his usual life.

He had been given a chance at a normal life. And now he was finding out why people warned not to wish aloud lest they were granted. The hard way.

He contemplated skipping classes. If he did, Ivan and his boss would murder him. But at any rate he was too late for the first class, so he was probably going to be killed anyway.

"Why aru?" He muttered to himself. He should never have told Ivan he liked Psychology. He should never have let on to his Boss that he wished to lead a normal life. Now he was getting his wish. And was far from satisfied with it.

At first he had been so serious, even going as far to buy Ivan, Im Yong Soo, Kiku and his Boss journals(because he couldn't get his hand on Taiwan and Hong Kong). Kiku had simply stared at him and said "Ah..I see." which roughly translated into common language meant "Are you nuts or what?". Yao had known that his journal was going into the nearest trash can as soon as Kiku was out of his sight. Im Yong Soo had gone off into a rant about how Psychology and Universities were invented in Korea(South Korea) and his Boss had laughed boomingly before patting him on the back and practically shooing him away like a teenager who had asked his teacher out on date.

But as days went by, his seriousness gradually began to be replaced by boredom and ...though he would never have admitted it to anyone but his own deepest heart, something similar to lovesickness. He missed Ivan.

But getting back to the present, Yao finally decided to skip classes and go over to Yong Soo to view his journal. He must admit, he was curious as to what went on in that particular nation's mind.

Xxth XX, 20XX.

Yao hasn't been contacting me for so long...well, scratch that out. We call each other practically every other hour, and that's not even counting the texts and emails and the time spent chatting on IM. But we've not seen each other for long. It has almost been..what? Two months already?

I should never have told Yao to stop seeing nations outside of absolute necssity.

I see him at the World Meetings, yeah, but Alfred always gives me a headache with his illogical plans and since Yao sits at the far end, we haven't been getting much of a chance to talk. That didn't matter before because we were amost always over at each other's place but I notice that now. And deeply regret it.

I wonder if Yao is happy with his normal life?

I wonder if he too has abandoned me?

Dos vidanya.

Xxth XX. 20XX

I just read my entry of yesterday. And I feel bad for suspecting Yao of abandoning me. He would never do that. But I've been burnt too many times to simply overlook the happy tint of his face and the way it glows at the World Meetings. Maybe he is enjoying his life without me.

Maybe? Of course he is. He practicallly glows! Ha!

I never noticed before how happy he is when he is among his citizens.

And no, I wasn't spying on him! I just wanted to make sure..

..of what? That he wasn't enjoying his normal life so he would come back to me? That was so mean and inconsiderate of me...what kind of a man am I? Maybe that is why the others all left me. I deserved it if I am praying for my Yao's unhappiness.

Even if it hurts me, I will not destroy his chance to happiness. That is what love is all about, or something. Yao once told me all about it, but I wasn't really paying attention to his words. I was too busy admiring the way the light glanced off of his raven hair*.

That proves my point that I am a terrible lover. If Yao wants to go, I shall let him.

Dos vidanya.

Yao never noticed the distance between their seats at the World Conferences before, but somehow, it seemed such an agony right now. Whenever he went to the World Conferences, he would blush all over at the sheer aniticipation of seeing Ivan again, even if it was only for a short period of time and from a very great(too great, as he was finding out) distance. Even America had once stopped his rant about DNA-altered Heroes to glare at him. Arthur called him out every time, going as far as to say that Yao should stop behaving like a glowworm and stop being so practically fluroscent. Yao had nearly dumped his tea on him, but regained his composure at the proper time. He was too old to be indulging in such childish behaviour.

But old or not, his heart throbbed so hard when he saw Ivan it felt like he was going to burst at any moment. Even Francis had been forced to comment that although l'amour was all very well, they should draw a limit somewhere.

Which was so mean of him. He meant, Francis had groped even Ivan! Not once, or twice, but a number of times. He had sensed it with the particular sense akin to that present in jealous wives...

Yao slapped his forehead. "Why am I comparing myself to Jelous wives aru?" Jealous he maybe, but no way he was the wife! He was much older than Russia...

..Wait! Did he just admit he was jealous? Of course not! That would be ridiculous! That was immature and...and absurd. He, Yao Wang, 4000-year-old, would never even think of indulging in such behavious. That kind of behaviour was best left to children like America and Canada...Yao snickered as he remembered the time when Prussia had shown up sporting bandages on his cheeks and a cast on his hand. There were rumours about Prussia and Hungary and Matthew with a hockey stick...no one knew anything for sure, of course. And neither of the three were forthcoming with any information, except that Hungary had been absent from the next meeting, letting Roderich take over for her.

Anyway, his point being made, Yao picked up a packet of noodles and turned it over to inspect the ingredients and sighed. "It looks like if you want something done properly, you must do it yourself aru." He grumbled.

That night, while Yao was somewhere between falling asleep and being awake, a part of Yao's mind told him to stop worrying about his food and start worrying about Ivan's calls getting less frequent, but, as everyone knew, Yao prioritised his food over everythng else, and having had a particularly satisfying meal, he went off to sleep without paying much conscious thought to that part of his mind.

**A/N: I will admit that it was extremely boring and that it was random and not at all what I had planned, but anyway, I can't do better than that right now since I'm sleep-deprived and running a tempetrature.**

**Yao: You couldn't do much better otherwise either, aru~**

***glare***

**Yao:Gulp...nothing aru~**

**Good, because otherwise I'd have sicced Yong Soo on you and your breasts, Yao.**

**Anyway, as I was saying, R/R please. Reviews will keep kittens alive. That too kittens planning world domination^_^Critiques are appreciated. Flames are not-very-welcome but send them anyway. **

***:In the anime it was ash-blond but I like the manga one better so I'll use black/raven.**


	3. Arabesque

**A/N:As I believe I mentioned last chapter, I have no idea how/why I'm updating, especially since I don't even have a basic plot worked out..however, it seems that just got solved. I'll just let this story run its natural course and die.**

**P.S: I finifshed two chappies in one hour. That in itself should speak for how crappy these are. Don't say you weren't warned, please^^''**

**Arabesque**

To put it mildly, Yao was worried. To put it truthfully, he was scared outta his life. "Why is he doing this aru~?" The raven-haired man was practically in tears. And he had a good reason to be like that. A very good one.

Ivan had not called him for almost 3 days now. No e-mails or texts either. There was no accidents or wars involved, and Russian economy was going strong, with no signs of uprisings or rebellions. Then why wasn't he...?

Yao's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, memories and calculations.

It certainly looked like..no! He refused to believe that! And why would Ivan? Had they not been lovers even during the Sino-Soviet Split, sneaking away to rendezvous with each other? Had they not disobeyed their respective Bosses to be together, even for a little while? Hadn't Yao been there forever for Ivan ever since they were two dreamy-eyed little urchins? Nothing could tear them apart...wasn't that how this was supposed to be?

"Then why is he avoiding me like this aru~?" Yao paced his bedroom even more frantically than he had been doing before. That was the only explanation. That Ivan was purposely avoiding him..but Yao's mind refused to process that bit of information. He would not believe that if his life depended on it.

Which it kind of did. If Ivan shunned him, yao would have no reason to live..

"_**Alright!We're getting a little bit melodramatic here!" the Sleep-deprived, bored and frustrated-with-not-knowing-where-this-was-going-and-having-to-type-all-that Authoress admonished. "You know very well you have to live for your people and blah blah and your Boss would personally go and kill you in Hell/Heaven wherever you go if you even contemplated things like that. And he would probably come after me too!"**_

"Shut up aru~" Yao muttered, extremely annoyed at being interrupted in the midst of his tragic sighing and perplexed at Ivan's behavious as anyone would be, including the Authoress. "He won't pay you any attention. Nor what you write. Its just a crappy fanfiction even you don't know what is about and which you just crappified even more by breaking the fourth wall aru~"

The Authoress glared at Yao, who glared right back.

"_**I see Ivan has been coaching you." she muttered breaking off the glaring contest. "And now if you excuse me I have a story to write"**_

"Which no one will ever read! And you don't even own the characters aru~! And you are making both me and Ivan suffer aru~"

"_**You don't know that I'm making him suffer" She pointed out**_

"With the evil tormentor that you clearly are.."

"_**Anyway its going to have a happy ending cos I like those." With that she went back to typing, sparing everyone her BS.**_

Yao grumbled before resuming. He didn't catch her saying under her breath _**"I hope."**_

"So why is he avoiding me aru~?" he sighed exasperatedly.

As usual, things were too complicated for him to understand. "I even learnt the Ballet for him!" Yao's rant was clearly getting incoherent, and it was difficult to interpret it through his tears._**So I sent him to sleep.**_

"Close your eyes aru~ close your eyes and go to sleep when you get up everything will be alright..."

Xxth XX, 20XX

I have cut off all connections to Yao and taken pains to let him confirm that Russia isn't undergoing anything which miight keep me busy.

He will probably think that I am a monster.

But that is alright with me.

Everything will be alright if Yao is happy.

And everyone knows me as a monster anyway.

Though it will hurt a little, because Yao is the only one who ever tried to understand me whole-heartedly.

We have been together ever since our first meeting.

Even though he was older than me at that time, we looked pretty much the same. Well, I was always tall for my age.

Surely after this he will turn away in disgust every time he sees me?

I wonder if I will ever see him again...

_**(Here the Authoress had decided this was too much angst and was going to interfere again but he seemed to have come to his senses)**_

Of course I will. The World Meetings, right?...

….I wonder if it is possible to never attend one again? Send someone in my place?_**(..Or not. Obviously that was too much to hope for for the Authoress)**_

Dos vidaniya

P.S: I wonder if it is impossible to find someone to take my place as a country and just finish this off?

Of course not. That would be silly. And Yao would eb mad at me.

Does it matter though? If he is enjoying a life that excludes me..does he really care in that case?

Maybe it is possible after all...

**A/N: As I predicted, that was incredibly crappy. I didn't think I had it in me to produce this much BS...I am soo sorry for the Fourth Wall Breaking and blah..but I just had to get in there. Believe me, I had to. I hate to make them suffer too, because I love RoChu, but it just... came. Therefore I am not sure if this will have a happy ending. Let me tell you a little secret...this wasn't even supposed to be all that Psychology and Journal stuff... just plain Russia's views on why nations left him and how he couldn't understand them..then the Journal came in and then that Psychology class...and now you see I've made it into some complicated thing that I can't make head or tails out of myself. But I swear I shall fight with this story till the end for a happy ending. They are my Favourite Couple after all...and my bf plays Russia while I play China...damn! You didn't hear that! I do not play a 4000-yr-old ponytail-sporting man with a soft corner for all things cute and who gets stalked by a potentially dangerous adorable psychopath in a Panda suit!**

**'Kay..I'm sorry for the crap...but A/N for me stands for Author's Nonsense, so just skip it if you don't want to read it*stares up with tears in her eyes, pouting cutely***

**And..Review please? Reviews are what keep stories alive(Shit! Now no one will ever review my crappy stories! Cos everyone wants them to die)**

***goes into her emo corner, background dark black aura***


	4. Red Moon

**Red Moon**

**A/N: Yes, another A/N. Anyway, as the title suggests this contains so much tears it could replace the Pacific Ocean. Like, seriously. So, don't read unless you are feeling like having your heart broken, please. Also, don't ask me how this has anything to do with the plot, cos I haven't figured it out yet. **

**WARNINGS: As usual, I don't have a fricken idea how/why this chappie was written, and so don't read it if you want to preserve your sanity. And blood warning.**

**Red Moon**

No matter from which angle he looked at it, there seemed to be only one explanation.

Ivan had betrayed him.

Of course, this was not the first time. But before, Ivan had been forced to hurt him.

This time, Ivan had betrayed him of his own accord.

And Yao wanted revenge.

As he pressed the trigger of the Kalashnikov, he felt an overwhelming feeling of loss and satisfaction overtake him.

It felt as if his heart had been blown out and in its place there was only hollowness, but he was satisfied. In a dark, infernal way.

Looking at Ivan's body, practically drowned in a sea of blood- his own blood- Yao felt a rage he had never known he felt be satiated.

He looked at the gun in his hand, then at Ivan, then at the gun again, and laughed. It was an eerie laughter, sounding as if it didn't belong to this world. It wasn't a laughter that suited Yao.

Ivan woke up trembling. Even the freezing temperaturtes of early-January in Russia didn't prevent him from being soaked with sweat. "What the.."he muttered. He had given Yao his freedom. Why was he feeling like this, then? "Da," he murmured sadly, "Yao must really hate me to do something like that." Then he shook his head. What was wrong with him? That wasn't Yao. That was a bad dream. "I suppose I have to call him China from now on. Better get into the habit, da?" he asked, to no one in particular.

**A/N: short chapter is short^^' I just wanted to capture some of Ivan's state of mind and I am running at 102F now so I can't type anymore than this. Anyway, if you're reading this, you probably have become used to my insanely short chapters by now. And I'd like to thank _ImaduckQuaQua_ for being my first reviewer _ever_(not many of them, eh?) and also for sticking to this(absolutely crappy) fic. You're an angel for all the support and encouragement^^**


	5. Overcast

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, all of you, and Chibi Too Lazy To Login(are you sure you aren't my long lost sister?O.o) I was talking about my body tempertare not weather^^(Adelaide gets that kind of temperature? Gosh do people live in there?)**

**As I sais, I am disowning this story due to the excessive amount of angst and darkness I've gotten into what was meant to be a fun story.**

**ImaDuckQuaQua thanks for the concern! I have already seen a doctor and am on medication(stupid doctors and temperatures)**

**WARNINGS: As said before, random and dark themes.**

**Overcast**

Eight weeks.

It had been exactly eight weeks since Ivan's last call.

Yao had lost count of the number of times he hadn't returned Yao's calls.

The phone rang. From his vantage point beside the telephone, where he had been sitting for God-knew-how-long willing it to ring, Yao leapt and picked it up before the first ring was even properly over.

"Hello, I-"

"ANIKI!" The voice nearly blasted his eardrums. The volume alone was enough identification for the caller.

"Oh, Im Yong Soo." Yao said, immediately disinterested.

"Aniki! I-" Yao's mind had already started weaving a fantasy where the caller was actually a certain violet-eyed Russian. Needless to say, he missed the excited chatter from the other side of the phone. Also needless to say, Yong Soo was rather-er, offended- when it became clear that Yao wasn't paying attention.

"This is the third time you asked me to repeat!" he said indignantly. Well, maybe "indignantly" was a bit of an understatement...

"I'm sorry, Im Yong Soo, but this is not a good time." Yao sighed. "I'll call you back later." With that he hung up without waiting for Yong Soo's response, already irritated.

Yao couldn't sleep no matter how much he tried. His only thought was that maybe Ivan had really been busy and maybe he'd call anytime.

Ultimately, he took his blanket and pillow to the drawing room and lay down on the couch right beside the telephone.

_There. I will be there whenever he's free to call me._

_Xxth XX, 20XX_

_I have lost count of the times I picked up the phone to call Yao. I deleted all his numbers from my Cell and blackened them from my Phonebook, but it doesn't help because it seems I have them all by the heart. _

_Would it be too..maybe I could simply call him from an anonymous number? Just to hear his voice?_

Nine weeks and three days.

Yao was sick and tired of waiting. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting for a call that never came.

Ivan hadn't even called him to acknowledge their break-up.

_Stop thinking that aru~. Of course you're not broken up! You've been friends since you were..what? You can't even remember how far back you became friends! That is how long you've been friends for...friends..and something more..._

Yao simply couldn't face the fact that Ivan might never call again. The fact that Ivan had simply walked out of his-no, their- life.

That Ivan had broken their Promise to be together. An Oath they had taken using the most sacred methods of both their countries – to never leave each other*, to always be there when the other was hurt and alone. To be together forever.

_Xxth XX, 20XX_

_I suppose countries could end too._ _Die like human beings did._

_**Prussia didn't though...**_**he mused.**

_Holy Roman Empire, Germania, Ancient Rome, Egypt, they all did, didn't they? They left behind their sons and grandsons, but they disappeared._

_I wonder if there is a Heaven and Hell for countries?_

_If yes, I shall definitely go to Hell._

_I wonder who my heir will be? I would want it to be Yao, of course, but I can't leave my country to whomever I choose. I wish it was someone who looked like Yao, even a little, then._

_I wonder if Nations can choose when to die?_

**A/N(Y_es, again. Get over it. I love talking, as you should have figured out by now.)_: Oh God, this was even more horrible than last chapter. If you didn't get the second last line, Russia wants a b-a-b-y which looks like Yao. In short, Russia wants to be the Father/ Mother(no idea!) of Yao's children.(Don't worry, I won't make it m-preg. That's not very biological. Its just..dunno. To show his love? I recently read something which said that when you love someone very much you want to leave behind a symbol of that love that is why people have children! I know, I've been reading too much trash. Hafta cut down on it.) I _hate_ myself for making Russia-chan suffer! And Yao, yeah, but why does Russia want to die? This is getting just too angsty for me! To think I wanted it to be light and funny^^'**

**And I hope this wasn't too short. This is the best I can do in my current situation.**

**Also, for the people who liked my story, and reviewed/fav'd/alerted it, would you like to request a pairing? I need to write something humorous if I don't want to kill myself with all this angst and sadness(believe it or not, I am mainly funny, not at all sadistic like this makes me appear. This story has a mind of its own^^'). Please keep it within the following : **

**A. Axis Powers Hetalia**

**B. Code Geass**

Knights

**D. Neon Genesis Evangelion**

**(have you ever heard of it? Its a wonderful manga!)**

** no Kuni no Alice(ditto!)**

**or G. ½ Prince(ditto again!)**


	6. Tear Stains

**A/N(haven't you got used to these yet?): Pish, who didn't login so I can't reply to her/him personally, thanks for the info. I knew that they were allies during the American War and Russian Monarchy supported America, and the friendship I mentioned was based on that period, so I didn't refer to Communism. I didn't know about that WWII friendship. I always thought after America's use of Nukes Russia's relationship with him soured. I really need to brush up on my history. And that Communism view is certainly interesting but I thought that since it failed in Soviet Russia and that (at least from what I read) situations weren't very good there towards the later part. Also, Ukraine and Russia's relationships soured due to the Great Purges(or something like that?) during Communist rule and she started avoiding him like Hell. As Russia really loved her and misses her(weeell, I _think_ so) maybe he prefers to forget about that. Also there was that incident with Anastasia, whom he really loved(though I don't know if that's really Kanon or just Fanon. I got it from unofficial sources) so I thought he'd want to erase that part.**

**To Chibi who didn't log in, I try to write faster, but as I said, I'm simply burned out with the angst. Dark themes are not my forte. I always like sun and meadows and blah blah. And I hate you for making me write this within half-an-hour! Your review just fired me too much^^**

**And I repeat my request that if anyone has any special pairings in mind, tell me and I'll try to do them. I need to work on something else to stop burning out.**

**Look what happened! I took a normal family setting to put in lots of flowers and rainbows and that sorta stuff, but it became like this! Consider this a follow-up chapter on chap 1 where Russia mind screws himself(and everyone else) with his scars accumulated over time or stuff. China's turn. Aren't you glad to get the spotlight, Yao?**

**Ivan:Don't talk to Yao-Yao likethat. Kolkolkolkolkolkol**

**Excuse me while I run for my life...**

**WARNINGS: Homosexuality, dark themes, blah blah blah blah blah. For those who actually liked my absolutely BS fic, this is probably going to be a major disappointment since I have even less idea about this than usual(which means its in the negatives now, since I had zero idea anyway). I want to give them a happy ending right now and end their suffering but this monster doesn't seem to want one. Hah, a half-page long A/N? I rambled a bit too much, but to make up for that, this chappie will be (only slightly) longer than the others.**

**Tear Stains**

_**(lol I know stupid name but the only thing I could come up with)**_

Being woken roughly and suddenly, it took Yao some moments to realise that he was still asleep on the couch by the phone. As he tried to sit up, his cell phone slipped from where it was cradled in his hand and, falling on the floore, shattered into pieces. _Just like my heart._ Yao thought before focusing in on the face of the offender.

If he hadn't been so down, he'd have squealed like Hungary did when Prussia and Canada were caught kissing in one of America's closets(the said World Meeting was being held at USA's house.) Yao still had no idea why America had tried to shoot Prussia's a** off. Though that guy was just asking for it with his loudness and obnoxiety*.

"What are you doing here, Nihon?" he settled instead for a dead voice and as much expression as Nihon or Hong Kong usually had.**

Kiku actually looked shocked.

Im Yong Soo spoke up from behind them. "I told you there was something wrong with him! Intuition was after all invented in Korea!"***

"Hmph!"Vietnam looked annoyed while Taiwan looked like she was going to burst into tears anytime.

"Whats wrong, aniki?" Hong Kong asked, expressionless as usual..was that a hint of worry in his voice?

Yao shook his head. _My lover abandoned me, and on top of that I have to get illusions too aru~? This is just too much for me aru~_

"Is it something about your economy?" Yong Soo asked. He was probably the only one not faking his expression.

Well, to be honest, none of them were. Nobody except Yong Soo and Taiwan looked much worried, and Tai was probably crying because of the shock.

"Don't be an idiot, China's economy is perfect." Hong Kong said in his flat tone.

"Aniki! Don't be like that!" Tai bawled suddenly.

"Huh?" Hong Kong, Japan and Korea all looked at her as if she'd grown a second head.

"I want the aniki that goes around stupidly claiming he's our big brother!"

"I want the China that runs away from everything complicated."Japan joined in, though he still didn't display much emotion.

" I want aniki's breasts to be mine again!" Korea's bawl rivalled Tai's.

"He doesn't have breasts." Japan deadpanned, obviously relating this to certain unpleasant incidents between himself and Yong Soo's. Which kind of destroyed the gravity of the situation, but whatever. I can't think of anything else to write.

"Aniki," this was Hanon(Vietnam), her aloofness going up in flames, "please...please say you're our Gege again?" She still managed to come off as calm, the tremble in her usually steady and strong voice hardly noticeable.

Something in Yao's mind erupted.

"For what aru~?" He stood up, knocking the telephone down from its stand(O.o. Poor phones...no I don't have a thing against them, in case you're wondering. It just seemed convenient,- Authoress)

"So that you can all spurn me and be annoyed at me again? No aru~. I am not going to go around being rejected all over anymore aru~. You," he pointed to Kiku, "you wanted to be strong so you left me. Not only did you leave me but you actually hurt me so bad I couldn't stand up on my feet unhelped for months! You left me broken and scorched. You," to the others, "all of you, none of you ever acknowledged me. You found me irritating and clearly avoided me even on my face.(1)"

"I.." Japan was redder than a tomato.

"Aniki..." Yong Soo looked like he was going to burst into tears.

Taiwan and Hanon already had tears streaming down their cheeks.

"JUST GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Yao screamed.

Note to self: Mental breakdown complete. Mind ultimately processed Ivan had left him.

"Hello, Boss?" Yao mentally thanked Heavens for the fact that it was the answering machine that got it, although he would probably soon be getting an enraged call from his Boss.

"I wanted to ask...is there anyway to choose another representative for China?"

Yao miserably debated with himself, for the hundredth time, whether he should just quit Uni or stick at it. On one hand, it was unbearable to go there thinking Ivan had originally planned it all and in general, just a hell of a lot work when all he really wanted to do was lay down and wallow in..er, his misery?(China will _**not**_ call it self pity!) but it gave him work to take his mind off his ..er, misery...and it was a legacy left by Ivan.

Once again he couldn't decide.

_How messed up must one be to lose an argument to his ownself aru~?_Yao thought as he miserably flipped on his side to face the television. Its mindless chatter helped drown out the sound of his thoughts.

**A/N:***,**,***: **I have absolutely nothing against Prussia, Japan or Hong Kong. I love Japanese and German/Prussian culture, and Prussia is one of my favourite characters in Hetalia. Those were just running gags of the show, so to speak. As known, Hetalia stereotypes. Please don't be offended, I meant nothing by it!**

**Huff, huff!**

**Also, I dunno Vietnam's name so I went with Hanon which I found somewhere in the Fandom and really liked due to its similarity with Hana(flower: Japanese).**

**And now, lot of explaining to do. **

**(1)Well, Yong Soo acknowledges him, but he's facing a nervous breakdown. No one's fair in that kind of a state.**

**Am I not a sadistic bastardo? I really hate myself right now..especially due to the fact that my BF and I cosplay as Ivan and Yao and I kinda relate to them(Crap..the truth is I 3 RoChu cos they're so darn cute!*starry eyes*)**

**Ivan:(popping up behind the Authoress): Don't make my Yao-Yao suffer...**

**Ah.._shit_!**


	7. Last Stage

**A/N: 'Kay, now I know it isn't my fault, 'cause my PruCan is coming along just right. Its all Ivan's and Yao's fault for making me torture them.**

**Last Stage**

_**(Yuss! The last chappie! Free finally!)**_

"I'm home." Ivan called to no one in particular, or not-particular for that matter, since nobody was 'home'. The Baltics and Ukraine had moved out after the break-up of the USSR. Belarus...thankfully Belarus was having some problems back home...Ivan bit his lip guiltily.

The place called 'home' felt strangely empty without Yao-er, anyone- there. Ivan hung up his coat and made his way to the kitchen to grab something and quieten his (literally) grumbling stomach. He inhaled the heavenly smell of borscht from the hallway, a smile coming automatically to his lips. Yao didn't strictly like Borscht, to make it for him was really sweer of-

-wait. WaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT. Yao wasn't here. He had moved away from Ivan's home and his life, for that matter. Or rater, Ivan had pushed Yao away himself -

Here the Authoress, tired of all the emo-ness, decided to make herself heard again, reducing the quality of this fic to negative. "Get going, idiot. There's someone breaking into your house and you're being emo? For f***'s sake!" She sounded quite imperative so Ivan decided to obey her, for once.

"Welcome home." Yao greeted him from the kitchen doorway.

Ivan blinked, before actually banging his head into a wall-

"_That'd hurt too much!"_ _Yao protested._

_**Sigh.**_

-before palming his face.

"Huh? Are you alright aru~?" Yao was, quite understandably, worried.

"Now I've finally gone off the edge." Ivan managed.

"Wha-?" Yao was clearly not following.

"I'm even having hallucinations now." he wailed.

Yao was getting really tired with the emo-ness too, so he simply went up to the sink, filled a glass with water, and promptly dumped it over Ivan.

"Shut up aru~. First you start all this for God knows what and now you're being the victim aru~? I swear I hear you say one word more and I will kill you aru~"

Ivan, taken back by the Chinese man's uncharacteristic display, gaped. "You..you poured ...water..over me?"

"Next time it'll be the Borscht." Yao threatened, before ruining it by smiling. "Unless you can dispose of it another way."

So after disposing of the Borscht in a civilised manner- which is not dumping it over each other, which wouldn't be surprising considering who the Authoress is- they resumed. _**('Kay, I know, but Ivan was so hungry!**_ _**I am nice like that.)**_

"Errrrrr..."

"Are you going to say something beside 'er' and 'um' and 'uh'?" Yao questioned.

"Umm.."

"I don't know why you did that, but that was stupid." _**(good, now he sounds like my mom)**_

"Uhhh..."

"Anyway, I've decided."

"Heh?" Ivan's body froze. So Yao had come to say his farewell?

"Well, I'm glad I asked you to write that Journal, and you followed me." Yao continued.

"Oh.." so, Yao knew...

"And you idiot, how can I be happy without you?"

"But..but..when you came to the Meetings..you were always smiling.."

"That was because that was the only time when we could be close, moron."

"Uh.."

Yao tightened his grip on Ivan's hands, "You know, I _could_ forgive you."

"Rea-?"

"-if-"

_There's an if? Of course there is. And he deserved it._

"-you kiss me and promise never to do that again."

They leaned with towards each other.

"_A-shew!"_

"-aru~?"

"I-I think I caught a cold."

**A/N: That goes for dumping water on someone in Russia in winter! Yao is soooo stupid(and Ivan's busy with Yao so he won't come chasing after me with his faucet pipe anymore! Yay!).**

**So there! Its a happy ending!  
And yeah, you _can_ dump things like that! My crazy friends and I once had a crazy party where we threw cakes at each other and Ana-chan dumped coke over me(since I accidentally put whipped cream in her tee. But that really was unwilling, I swear. I was aiming for Rono-kun). That was very stressful for me since in India we all wear light cotton clothes and I was wearing white. I had to borrow a t-shirt from the hostess to get home. And yep, I caught a bad cold next day. _A-shew!_**

**Ah whatever! This is finished (does weird dance) Now I'm free for other – hopefully - less sadistic fics. And ImaDuckQuaQua, I wrote a little PruCan for you (seeing as how I planned to write one anyway.) And no, that's so-not-screwed! But unfortunately its not an oneshot like I'd have preferred. But I swear on -er, everything possible- that I will not screw this up or make it longer than 4 chapters at the most. And OMG did you really find out there were Fairies now? I've known for so long..I could make you special Fairy Soup if you come over. Or Goblin for that matter. But don't tell Arthur or he will make me sit in the Busby's Chair, and I doubt that Ivan would substitute for me after all I put him through here^^''**


End file.
